


breaks you can't solder

by chepsi



Series: marginal victims [2]
Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: M/M, pwp mostly, unless you read the first part then its a continuation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-10
Updated: 2019-03-10
Packaged: 2019-11-14 18:09:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18057464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chepsi/pseuds/chepsi
Summary: Saïx takes a break from work to spend a night with Axel. It would be really emotional if he still had emotions.





	breaks you can't solder

**Author's Note:**

> thanks so much to everyone who commented on (call it what you want) i see myself underwater. i really, truly appreciate and it and your feedback is the reason i pushed myself to finish this.  
> that being said i finally got off my butt and finished akusai wankst part 2! the previous work in this series isn't necessarily required to read this, but they go together. enjoy! :^)

Saïx is tired. 

Yes, no hearts, no feelings,  _ whatever _ , but the chronic emotional constipation couldn’t stop him from being downright exhausted. In fact, it almost made it worse. 

He’s going through sorry excuses for mission reports when the sound of a corridor startles him from his work. He closes his eyes, exhaustion seeming to multiply tenfold as soon as he sees who it is.

“Axel,” he says, turning back around. A little cold, but not forbidding. 

“Saïx.” Axel wanders across the room, nosy as always, hunching over the desk to see what he’s doing. “Isa,” he follows it with, much softer, running his fingers through the ends of Saïx’s hair. Why he chooses to remain in the past, Saïx will never understand. Nor will he understand why Axel can’t keep his hands to himself. He clears his throat, and Axel moves his hand away. To his surprise, Saïx finds himself almost immediately missing his warm touch.

“Paperwork?” He asks, just because he likes to talk so much. Saïx says nothing because the answer is quite obvious.

“Is Xemnas still up your ass?”

“ _ Axel.” _ He drops his pen and can only watch as it rolls off the desk and falls with a clatter onto the floor. He turns around and scowls at the heckler behind him.

“I didn’t mean literally,” Axel mutters, squatting down to pick up the pen. “But I’ll take that as a yes.” He holds it out to him, that insufferable grin dancing across his face. But Saïx doesn’t take it. Looking into Axel’s eyes… it’s comfortable. And it’s familiar.

And he doesn’t really want to stop.

“Saïx,” Axel says again, but this time his voice is low, and full of want. Saïx blinks at him, not breaking eye contact, both their eyes heavy with desire. He doesn’t know the last time he wanted to have sex, but now, all of the sudden, he  _ really _ wants to. Axel can tell, because he sits down in Saïx’s lap almost immediately, tangling his fingers in long blue strands. He brings their lips together softly, as if he’s trying to remember how. Saïx does, instantly; he melts into the touch, his body growing hot as Axel tangles their tongues. Feeling Axel’s lips against his for the first time in a long time feels amazing, but feeling his hardening dick through his pants is even better.

Saïx, ever the teaser, presses his palm to the crotch of Axel’s pants when the two pull away for air. Axel’s breath hitches and twists into a needy moan, his fingers digging hard into the leather on Saïx’s shoulders. 

“Shhh,” he murmurs, moving downward to press a kiss to his neck. Despite Axel biting his lip to stifle the sound, he still whimpers pathetically when Saïx traces his teeth on the spot.

“Yeah, Saïx? You’re gonna have to go easy on me there, dude,” he says, voice shaky and sweat already beading on his brow. “I’m uh, out of practice. Don’t know how long I’m gonna last. Like, I know you’ve got Xemnas and all, but I’m expecting to bust any second.”

It’s as if something cold ran down his spine; those words come as a strange shock to him.

“Don’t talk about him,” he says, looking back up at Axel through narrowed eyes. Axel’s widen, making him look almost comical when his pupils are already so big.

“Uh, yes sir,” he says, in that sarcastic tone of voice he so long ago settled on for a personality. “Just saying. Don’t know the last time  _ I’ve _ been touched by another human hand.”

He keeps the humor in the phrase ‘human hand’ to himself as unzips Axel’s coat. Axel shakes it off his shoulders and pulls off his undershirt. Saïx thrusts his hips up against him. Axel yelps, and would have fallen if not for Saïx catching him. 

“Can we move to the bed?” 

Saïx lifts Axel and he giggles like a child, like he would have when they had hearts. He cups a hand on Saïx’s cheek as he’s set down on the bed softly. He brings their lips back together in another kiss, and Saïx nearly falls on top of him, needing more. Axel opens his legs and wraps them tight around Saïx’s waist. He ruts his hips up, craving friction, causing Saïx to groan and thrust back harder in retaliation. Axel’s hands fly to his waist, trying to get his pants off with a hungry desperation. Saïx nearly matches Axel’s pace and energy as he shucks off his own pants. The two of them breathe heavily, lost in each other’s eyes, before their lips crash together again. Saïx puts an arm between them and takes their dicks in his hand, stroking quickly.

“God,” Axel breathes. He’s already fucking Saïx’s hand, and Saïx  _ loves  _ how easy it is, how much he comes undone. How much control he has.

”Please fuck me,” Axel says, snapping him out of his thoughts and looking at him with eyes he couldn’t say no to. “Please, Isa. I missed you so much. I missed you so so much.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Saïx murmurs, feeling ridiculous himself when his dick twitches at Axel calling him his old name. “Get the lube then.” 

It’s not another five seconds before Axel opens the container. Saïx takes it from him.

“What the hell.”

“I’ll do it.” Saïx slathers his fingers. 

“Ohhh!” says Axel, chest and face flushing bright pink like a schoolgirl. “What a gentleman!”

“Please shut up.” 

Axel shimmies down the bed as he tries to get comfortable, once again wrapping his legs around Saïx. “What made you decide to do this for once?”

Now Saïx remembers one of the reasons he stopped sleeping with Lea: his inability to  _ stop talking. _ “You always liked it,” he says quietly, not quite meeting Axel’s eyes as he brings a finger to his entrance.

And maybe it’s the feeling, or maybe it’s his words, but Axel’s face falls. He looks unmistakably sad, and Saïx hates it. But it’s just for a moment, because the expression is replaced by one of pain, followed by pleasure, as Saïx edges his finger inside.

Axel whimpers, and rocks his hips against the feeling. “More,” he says, thoughtlessly.

“Why do you do that,” Saïx asks, in a voice barely above a whisper, inching a second finger in. Axel closes his eyes and exhales, and Saïx is forced to remember how beautiful he is.

“Do what,” he says, when he can breathe again.

Saïx scissors his fingers, gently opening Axel up. He finds his prostate and Axel gasps, clamping a hand over his mouth immediately and moaning into it, eyes nearly rolling into the back of his head.

“Pretend.” Saïx adds a third and final finger. Axel is putty in his hands, moaning almost senselessly as Saïx fucks him with his fingers. “To still have feelings.”

Axel says nothing of worth, because he can’t. He finally moves his hand away from his mouth and grabs Saïx’s wrist. 

“I’m ready,” he whispers. “Please.”

Saïx pulls his fingers out and prepares to replace them with his weeping dick. Axel won’t stop looking at him, right in the eyes, and it’s suddenly making him uncomfortable.

“Please tell me you’re not trying to make this romantic,” Saïx says, biting back a groan as he begins to push in.

“Mmmm…. no, I just—“ He’s cut short when his body is reminded of just how thick Saïx is. “God… nevermind.”

Saïx doesn’t bother to try to draw the rest out of him as he slides in, inch by inch. Axel whines pathetically when he rolls his hips the first time. 

“Kiss me,” Axel mumbles, “like before.”

Saïx can’t help but comply; he lightly kisses Axel’s lips, flashing back to another day and another life when this was new, and it was beautiful. And with that thought he begins a slow rhythm, Axel trying to match his pace. 

“Isa,” he says.

It hurts to hear. 

Saïx speeds up, already feeling something tighten in his gut. 

“Please. I know you remember my name,” Axel, no, Lea, he’s Lea, he never stopped being Lea, reaches up and runs his fingers through Saïx’s hair. “Never gonna forget it, right? Say it.”

Saïx bites his lip, slowing down. He won’t give in. He won’t do it. He’s not going to pretend like Axel does.

When Axel brings a hand to his cheek, and he looks at him, nothing short of shock hits him when he sees tears forming at the corners of his eyes. 

“Stop,” is all Saïx can say, and he can barely say it; his own voice cracks at the sight.

“You’re still Isa,” he says, so quietly it’s hardly even a sound. “My Isa.” He brings his other hand to his face, and Saïx brings their foreheads together. He doesn’t know the last time his throat felt so choked up. 

“But I’m not,” he whispers back. And he believes it.

“You are to me,” says Axel, and the tears run down the sides of his face, and it’s like something in Saïx wakes up.

“Lea,” he croaks, throat dry and voice broken as he begins to fuck him again, like he used to, like he’s wanted to for so long, like he never stopped. 

Lea says nothing back, but it only takes a moment before he’s hissing Isa’s name and coming onto his belly. Isa follows shortly after, Lea riding him through his orgasm.

Isa— wait, Saïx, he was Saïx— rolls off of Lea, not Lea. Axel. He settles onto his back and keeps his eyes fixed on the ceiling as he catches his breath. He says nothing when Axel lays his head on his chest and curls up to his side. He finds himself almost instinctively putting an arm around him. Axel sighs, a happy sound, as he softly places a hand over where Saïx’s heart should be.

“What?” 

“Nothing really. It’s just… sometimes I think I’ll feel a heartbeat. It’s stupid.” 

It is stupid, of course, but Saïx doesn't say so. He’s done the same thing, for years, and it's surprising that a night with Axel was all it took for him to start thinking about it again again. He remembers what it’s like to feel, but the feeling of having a heart… it’s beyond him at this point. Beginning to drift to sleep, he closes his eyes and reaches for that warmth, that comfortable, happy thing he used to feel somewhere in his chest. 

He’s pretty sure it’s been long extinguished.

**Author's Note:**

> stole this title from that same adult mom song. i'm always nervous about publishing porn so... hope it's good lol. let me know what you think!


End file.
